(important break: supposedly it is fashion week next week and a woman who is probably in her seventies or eighties is so impeccably dressed and overhears these three talking about her fashion in English and walks over to their table and now they are all talking in French about her incredible style and she has now joined them at their table and they are deep in a discussion that I can no longer understand and I am, to put it mildly, a petit bit jealous). But I am thinking how insanely lucky I am and feeling a bit like Joan Didion, consumed by my own sense of self and my thoughts and feeling incredibly self-indulgent.
Tomorrow I will wake early and walk to the train station with my increasingly large backpack and take an overcrowded train to the airport and arrive sweaty and completely American and board a plane headed for Detroit. And about this I have so many feelings.
The past five and a half weeks have been beyond incredible. The kind of teaching one can do on the ground is so different than in the classroom. Obviously, I already knew this, but to see it materialize is quite incredible. The work is so much more exhausting but in a way that feels fulfilling, instead of the monotonous exhaustion of walking to and from work and sitting in an office and staring at a computer all day.
(another important break: I have learned they will not open the kitchen for another hour so I am remembering a British woman I worked with in Israel years ago who told me that it in Paris she taught her granddaughter how to sit with a glass of wine for the afternoon and I am trying hard to practice this whole the people next to me carry on with their incredibly fashionable conversation. Attention my grandmothers: I can teach you this skill when I return, it does come with some practice :))
So back to it. This is my point. This world is so incredible and in it I am so privileged. How do I, we, use this privilege for good and not for evil, but also find the space to enjoy ourselves? How do we exist in a city and a country that is turning away refugees and peacefully drink our wine and think about moving here - a privilege I know I could act on when I have no real reason to leave my home other than sheer wanderlust? How do we move freely from Palestine to Germany to Poland to Austria to France to the States while others risk their lives to move from place to place?
This is taking a turn for the negative and I don't mean it as such. I genuinely believe that we should all enjoy our lives. But I struggle with the balance. How do we enjoy and take stock and advocate and leverage our privilege? How do we enjoy the stylish older French woman (she has since moved on and the Brits and Americans are back to English but not nearly as interesting to me anymore), and I mean truly and deeply enjoy her presence, while we work towards a world where Palestinians and Syrians and all those lacking freedom of movement and basic human rights can also enjoy an evening of delight and treasures, whatever that delight looks like?
My wine is almost empty and the restaurant will shortly open its kitchen and so I leave you with some photos of this weird and wonderful world we live in that I have been lucky enough to see a few pieces of.
In front of the Notre Dame, wearing a dress I've worn 30 of the past 40 days.
The inside of a bathroom in the Krakow train station. Yes you read that right. For only 2.50 polish zlotzky you too can look at this as you pee.
Berlin is magic. And we wear helmets even on European city bike rides because our mothers taught us well.
(important break: the British man has left and now the American girls are getting quite teary but I can't tell why because there are French women sitting in between us now, though the French women are comparing American and French coffee which is at least entertaining.)
A tree I planted a year ago is now growing in Palestine. As we say, alhamdulillah.
Thank you for reading and adventuring alongside me for the last five weeks. In theory I will continue blogging but in actuality we shall see. I'm off to finish my dinner and have a lemon tart and call it a wrap. See you Stateside.